Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Breaking into the house

So, I have to tell you what happened Sunday night.  I didn't do it in the weekend update because it was already getting long and this deserves it's own entry.

It was late, going on 11pm, and I was getting ready to head to bed but then remembered the garbage, recycle and lawn clippings still needed to go out to the curb.  So I ask HDT to come help me and I step out onto the back porch and he comes out behind me and shuts the wooden door. 
And with his hand still on the knob and a sheepish grin on his face he says, "I just locked us out." 
I said, "No you didn't." 
He said, "Yes I did."
I said, "No you didn't, you're just trying to trick me."
He said, "No I'm not, I locked us out."
I said, "You're kidding me right, you didn't really lock us out."
He said, "Yes, I did, I'm not kidding."
So I reached forward and tried the knob and sure enough it was locked.  We have the kind of knob that even when it's locked it'll turn like normal on the inside but of course is locked from the outside.

I can't believe it.  I ask him why he would shut that door when we're just taking out the garbage but he didn't think about it, just did it.  And what's even weirder is that usually when we're leaving to go somewhere before he shuts the door he'll ask if I have the keys or he'll check his pockets/hand to make sure he has his.  Maybe because it was so late and he was getting tired himself that it just didn't cross his mind to do so.  Who knows.

At any rate, we were locked out of the house.  Luckily he had grabbed a flashlight because we were going to take one large item out of the garage to put at the curb as well and our garage doesn't have electricity right now.  So he asks if all the windows are closed and locked.  I wasn't sure so we started looking at the ones to the kitchen with the flashlight and luckily enough the large one on the side was shut but not locked. 

So we grabbed the ladder out of the garage and he took off the screen and was able to slide open the storm window and inside window.  All the while he's worried that someone will think we're breaking in but I wasn't worried at all.  Besides, as I told him, it's a good thing he works for our police department, so even if someone did call the cops they'd know us as soon as they saw us.  We determined that I'd be the one crawling through it so we switched places on the ladder.

I grabbed the garbage can that sits under the window and pulled it closer to me.  It's a nice big square wooden can with a flat top/lid.  Love that can.  Anyway, the ladder only went up so far so the step was still well below the window that I couldn't just stick a foot/leg in and "walk" through the window.  I had to go in head first with my belly on the sill and the can under my chest.  I was trying to figure out how I was going to finish getting in when the can started to lean forward and I started to go to the floor head first.  I yelled for HDT to grab my legs and steady me. 

And in the meantime Poydras is standing on his hind legs doing a little dance all excited to see me crawling through the window pretty much under me or in my way.

So HDT grabs my ankles and helped me to "walk/slide" in using the can far enough until I could bend my knee and step down onto the floor still using the garbage can as support.  It wasn't all that easy either since I was laughing and trying to make sure Poydras and the cats were out the way.

I teased that I was going to leave him outside but of course didn't do so.  But I definitely teased when he came walking around the corner of the house, pointing at the doors, "See, this is how you do it.  Keep the big door open and shut the screen door."

I let him know that I'd be writing about this and would have to tell at least one person (probably my coworker, which I did) if not others.

On Monday morning when I was getting ready for work I see a bruise just above my right knee and couldn't figure out how I'd gotten it.  Then later in the morning when I went to the bathroom and see it again it dawns on me that it's from crawling through the window.  I also have a tender spot on my left forearm but no actual discoloration so that's good.

So that was a fun end to my weekend.

Media quote of the day:

From Bones:

Wait a minute. Bones breaks into my bathroom and I'm weird for being naked? - Special Agent Seeley Booth

So you didn't tell her to leave? You just sat there naked? - Dr. Lance Sweets
It was my own bathroom, okay? What do you wear in the tub? Floaties? - Booth
From Inception:
By creating something secure, like a bank vault or a jail. The mind automatically fills it with information it's trying to protect. Understand? - Cobb

Then you break in and steal it? - Ariadne

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