Friday, August 25, 2006

F******G CAT! Aahh but I do love him.

We have four cats and one if not more are pissing us off to no end. We believe it's one, The Brat Prince, who make no mistake earned his nickname. He is a high maintenance, spoiled little brat of a cat whom I love dearly.

You see, he has a disease that if he eats hard food it will make him have bloody shits. We found this out when he started taking shits behind the tv and they were very bloody. Actually he'd taken a few before in the litter box but they had been so far between each other and not very bloody we didn't really think much of it. I kept telling H Ditty to take him to the vet (easier for him since he doesn't work during the day) but for whatever reasons he hadn't done it. Then one morning he's sitting at his computer and BP is sitting in my chair. Well next thing H Ditty knows he's smelling shit of the likes he's never smelled before. Looks over to see if BP is in the chair and sees a pile of steaming bloody shit. ON MY CHAIR! So needless to say he was taken into the vet that day and they did all kinds of expensive tests to determine he's got swollen anal glands or something of the like.

So now he gets fed a special prescribed diabetic soft food. The others eat the hard version. He also is only supposed to eat twice a day which means the others only get to eat twice a day. He gets put on the landing to the basement stairs to eat while the others have theirs in our bedroom. He prefers theirs and two of them prefer his but of course he's not supposed to have it. Because of this none of them finish their portions. The other two, Cry Baby and Whiskers (also well earned), I will let eat the remainder of his food so it doesn't go to waste but not so him. We toss theirs back in the bag. There are times, like this morning, that he won't eat until the next time because he doesn't eat his food in hopes of getting the hard. Which I, I admit, will let him do every now and then, at least a little bit so he's not starving. H Ditty gets very upset with me. :p

If he doesn't get his way or is locked in the basement longer than he wants without H Ditty or myself there he will take a shit behind our tv. Monday I got home with 5 minutes to spare before H Ditty had to go to work. I walked out with him to go deposit my check. Normally I feed them as soon as I walk in the door but since I wanted to make the bank before they closed I didn't this time. I was gone less than 20 minutes. As soon as I walked in the back door I smelled it, nasty shit smell. I was hoping and praying that one of them had just taken one but I should have known better. I went down the basement and sitting on top of the litter was a pile of shit that which ever one did it didn't bother to cover up, so I did it. A few minutes later I notice the smell is still there just as strong as it had been. So I look behind the tv and sure enough that fucking cat left a pile. The only good thing about it was that it wasn't bloody and it at least was more solid then normal.

Wednesday I walk in the back door and not two steps into the kitchen is a soupy mess of BP's puke. He doesn't upchuck like most cats. There's hardly ever any solid mass, it's almost always watery that when it dries looks like piss. Always pleasant to step into in the middle of the night, blech!

Then, THEN!, last night I walk in the door and the smell of cat piss hits me. We've never had that before! I've asked family and friends, ones I know would tell me the truth, if our house smelled at all like cats, even as far back as when we had 6 of them, and I was always told no. H Ditty is up and on his computer in the basement so I go down there and ask him if he smelled it too. He does and has looked around but couldn't find it anywhere. I too looked and couldn't find it. At one point H Ditty says to me, "Pick one." So I said in a facetious way, "Brat Prince." He responds, "No, we each pick one cat and the other two go." He can be pissy when he wants to be. I sprayed febreeze on every one of the steps, the only carpeted area, and that didn't seem to help at all. The litter box didn't look particularly bad so I didn't bother with it. But after inspecting every nook and cranny and not finding anything I decided to clean it out anyway, normally I do it before I go to bed. Three scoops had the strongest ammonia odor I had ever smelled. Within minutes of that bag being taken out the smell went away. What was weird is that when I went over to the box before and took a deep whiff I didn't smell anything but the litter smell, no shit or piss mixed in. So at least that incident turned out ok.

The little bastard also wakes me up in the morning wanting fed. If he doesn't eat all of his food and I don't let him eat even one bite of the hard the night before he'll start bugging me as early as 3am. He's an Abyssinian so he's pretty tiny and doesn't weigh but 7lbs if that. But he'll run up and down my body, jump on it and "bite" any exposed skin he can get to. This morning he was nice and waited until 5:00. When he starts then Cry Baby starts acting up too. He usually chases BP around and up and down me and the bed. Now Cry Baby is a big cat, I haven't weighed him in awhile but I'm sure he's at least 14lbs. He hurts when he pounces or runs across me. The bad thing is is that I can't kick them out of the room, their litter box and water are in there. We plan on changing that one of these days but we're procrastinators so who knows when that'll happen.

Media quote of the day: Saved by kitty litter - Catwoman in Batman Returns


dirk.mancuso said...

I only have 2 cats, but I share the frustration over having one that is a virtual demon sent from hell to torment your every waking moment, yet who you love dearly. Truman can be such a shithead but when he comes up for some attention, my heart just melts.

Katrina said...

They're good at that aren't they. BP will do the worst and then come up and knead, squint his eyes and headbutt his way right back in.

Cats have such great personalities and anyone who says they're aloof has never had one. Or got a rare one that actually is. We've had 8 over the years and everyone has been very loving and demanding of attention.