Work

Man did I fuck up. I didn't mention it before because I wanted to see how things went before blogging about it but I got a call back from the company I interviewed with last week. They called me Tuesday afternoon to see if I was still interested in the job and if so if I'd go back out for a 2nd interview with the owners. I said yes and we scheduled it for today at 2pm. Since I'm writing this now at 2:35 there's some explaining to do.

I FUCKED UP!!

All morning long I've been telling myself I needed to leave the house by 1:30 to be there early or exactly on time if there's traffic. I was on my way, then I'm not even 1/3 of the way there when I glanced at my clock on the dashboard and saw that it was 1:45. All of a sudden, just like the proverbial light bulb, bell ringing, etc. it hits me that the meeting is at 2:00 and there's no way I'm going to make it on time. I'll be lucky to be there by 2:15, it'll probably be closer to 2:30. So I go to grab my cell phone and it's dead as a doornail. No way to call them to say I'm running late, no way to call H Ditty to have him try to calm me down.

I start to think of all kinds of excuses to use as to why I'm 15 to 30 minutes late. If I use the excuse that there was a car accident then that would be a reason not to hire me. If I use the excuse that I was just running late then that would be a reason not to hire me. If I use the excuse that I misremembered the time then that would be a reason not to hire me. All all the other excuses that I thought all added up to the same thing, a reason not to hire me.

So I decided to go home, change the battery for a good one on my cell phone and call and use the excuse that one of my brothers was in a car accident and this was the first chance I got to be able to call.

I walk in the back door and holler down to HD that I fucked up. I grab the good battery and as I'm changing it I'm telling him what I did and plan on doing. He says that I can't use that excuse, that it's just wrong (damn him for being right!) that I need to figure out something else to say. We agree on the generic "family emergency."

So I go out to my Rendezvous and place the call. I'm calling at 2:15. The guy I'm to meet with is on another call would I like to wait or have him call me back. Oh I'm gonna wait, even if I have to wait all afternoon. About a minute later he gets on and I immediately apologize. He asks if everything is ok now and I say that it is, thanks for asking. I say I'd still like to meet with everyone, I could do it later this afternoon or tomorrow if they're still willing. He is, thank God.

Says he can do it tomorrow morning what time would be good for me, I tell him I can be there by 9, he says, "9 it is then." Says that they've decided to hire 2 people so there will be a total of 3 people in the department so that way the load is easier on everyone. Wanted to let me know that in case the the volume had me worried. I said, "Well, I've got to be honest with you, it was worrying me some. I was worried that I wouldn't live up to their expectations and I'd end up disappointing them. As I said before, it's nothing I haven't done, it's just a larger scale." He responds, "Oh don't worry, I have confidence in you, I think you'd be able to do it all with no problems." I thanked him and told him that made me feel so much better.

He said, "I'll talk to the owners, get a package together and we'll meet tomorrow at 9 to see if we're all in agreement."

There was a few other things said that I can't think of right now but man, it sounds like they're ready to offer me the job. And now knowing that there'll be 3 people in there instead of just me or one other person makes me feel so much better and calmer. He asked me again about the drive and I told him that that was never a concern about mine, that I don't mind the drive at all. My only concern has ever been that I wouldn't live up to their expectations and he responded that he didn't think that was possible.

So it all sounds really good. I'm still a little nervous but I'm also so much better about it all. I'll be there this time on time.

Oh yeah, the whole reason I think I fucked up is that I was so damn nervous about it. I was starting to shake with nervousness. When talking to HD while getting ready I even cried a little out of being scared. It all has to do with working for a company so large. There's just expectations that come with a company that large and established. And I know, I'm all fucked up right now in my thinking and you're all probably thinking I'm just a spaz and should calm the fuck down. But once again, having never worked for a company with no more than 7 people in the office to go to one with what looked like at least 30 in the office and 10 out in the warehouse is a huge deal, at least to me. So I think I subconsciously did it on purpose to make myself lose the job before I even had it. But now the guy has made me feel so much better about it all and I believe it's the right place for me to be.

So I'll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. Please wish me luck again. Thanks.

Media quote of the day: " I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. Cuz she's, you know... a big spaz. - Willow - Buffy the Vampire Slayer